Love Lies a Head!
by CazCaz94
Summary: 1st fic so be nice! The trio find luuuurve and adventure in the future! Lots of luuuuurve! R&R plz! RWOC HPCC HGVK RWHG HGOC GWNL OCOC OCOC OCOC OCOC OCOC OCOC OCOC OCOC OCOC are the ships! It'z ded gud lyk!
1. Revalations and new friends

an: hiya! dis is ma 1st fanfic eva!!!!! hope u enjoy it!!!!! shout out 2 ma bessie m8s aimee n lanie!!!! wohoo!!!!!!!!! u go gals!!!

**Love Lies A Head**

Chapter 1-Revalations and new friends 

Ron, Hermione and Harry was all sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room.

"I wish you still had that time turner Hermione." Said Ron "We could have so much fun!"

"Yeah!!!" Harry agreed.

Hermione looked at her two best friends in all the world. "But you no I had to give it back. Once I dropped a couple of subjects I didn't need it anymore."

"I wonder how we could get another?" Harry thought allowed.

"Oooh! Oooh! I know! I know! Pick me! Pick me!" Ron cried, almost wetiing himself in ecitment.

"What Ron?" Hermione inquired, interestantly.

"The room of reqirements!"

"Want do you mean?" Hermione inquired again.

"Well, we reqire a time turner don 't we?" Ron explained "so all we would have to do is think of one as we walked passed and we'd get one!"

"You're a geneus Ron!!!" Hermione squealed, delightedly.

So off they went to the coridor where the room of requirement is located.

"A time turner" "a time turner" "a time turner" they thought as they pased up and down the coridor three times. Suddenly a door appeared out of nowere and Harry renched the door open and the sight that met there eyes was one of many time turners all glittering in the light.

"Wow!!!"

"There's so many!!"

" but we only ned one" Hermione said "come here" she picked up a time turner and thruw the chain around her Harry and Ron's neck, and began to spin it around. The trio felt there feet lift off from the ground and a weird pulling behind there belly buttons and they began to spin.

Suddenly they all hit the floor with a mighty bump.

"OW!!!!"

"Get off me I'm not a door mat" Hermione joked. Ron was sat on her.

"Did it work?"

"I don't know. We're still in the room of reqirements which looks egsactly like it did before"

"the only way to find out is by going outside" Hermione said, wisely.

Harry the bravest of the trio opened the door and came face to face with someone he reconised – himself!!!

"AHHHHH!!!!!" cried Harry!

"AHHHHH!!!!" cried the other Harry.

"Wants going on?" they both said in unicism.

"I don't no!" Harry cried.

"Wait what year is it?" Hermione inquired, as she was smart.

"It's 2017 why do you ask" asked the person who looked like Harry.

"Because we've come into the future that's why!!!" Hermione cried "You must be Harry's son!!!"

"Your name is Harry?????!!!!!! Harry Potter??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!" The boy cried "You really ARE my dad!!!"

"OMG! I have a son!!!!" Harry cried "Wants your name???!!! How old are you???????!!!!!!! WHOS YOUR MUM???????????????????????!!!!"

Questions flu from Harrys mouth at this revalation.

"My name is William and I'm 15 and my mum is Cho Potter" ansered the boy who looked very scarred.

"You mean Cho CHANG?" Harry was shocked. He had stopped going out with Cho because all did she was cry about her dead ex Cedric Digary all the time even when they were on a date.

"Yes" ansered Will " why are you here? Nowadays your all old, but you only look just older than me now"

Harry was in to much shock to anser so Ron did instead. "We used a time turner and we've obviosly ended up twenty years into the future"

"It's not the future"

"It is to us" Ron said.

"Hang on!!!! Your Ron Weasley, I know you!!! And your Professor Krum!!" Will said to Hermione.

"PROFESSSOR KRUM??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ron and Hermione screamed together.

"Yes you teach tranfiguration here at hogwarts"

"I'm marryed to Victor Krum though????!!!!!!!!!!" she inquired ergently.

"Yes of course"

"How could you do this to me Hermione??????????!!!!!!!!!" Asked Ron angerilly.

"I don't know!!! I have'nt even done it yet!!!" Hermione birst into tears. She only like Victor as a friend.

"Ritz is my best friend" Will said to Ron.

"Who the Bloody Heck is Ritz????!!!!!!!!!!!" Ron asked.

"Hes your son"

"I have a son to???????!!!!!" Ron cried "Whos his mum???????!!!!!!!!!!"

"Delilah Weasley but shes dead now"

"OMG!!! I don't even no a Delilah and shes dead!!!!!!!"

"Yes she died when Ritz was four"

"That's so sad!!!!!!!"

Suddenly out in the coridor they heard giggling and squealing.

"Wants that?" Hermione who had stopped crying inquired.

"Oh that's just my friends they said they'd meet me here"

Three girls and two boys appeared in the door way. One of the girls was very short and had short dark brown hair the colour of mahoganny and beautiful green eyes that shon in the candle light. Next to her was a platinum blonde girl who was only just taller than the brunette but her hair was long and she had ocean blue eyes. Next was a girl so beautiful it was quite unbelieveable she was blonde and her highlights were perfect she was tall and had big brown eyes. She also had huge boobs. Then there were the boys. One was extremely hot and tall and had bright red hair egsactly like Ron. The other was also tall but not as much and had brown hair. He had very broad shoulders and was extremly hot.

"Everybody this is my Dad, your dad Ritz and Proffessor Krum who've all come from the passed."

"No way!!!!"

"That is so cool!!!!!"

"Your dad's pretty hot Ritz!!!"

"Dad Ron Proffessor Krum this is Ritz your son Ron" He pointed to the extremly hot tall redheaded guy.

"Nice to meet you" said Ron

"This is Carrie Abbey" Will pointed to the very short brunette "This is Aimee Clarkson" he said pointing to the shorter blonde girl "This is Lanie Anthea Smith" he pointed to the tall blonde girl with the huge boobs " And this is Peters" He said pointing at the extremely hot guy "He won't tell anyone his first name because its something embarrassing"

"Yes but because I'm his cousin I no want it is" said Carrie. "Its good for blackmail" she laughed.

"Ha ha ha. Very funny" said Peters as though that were the oposit of want he ment.

"So why are all you guys meeting the room of reqirements?" Hermione inquired.

"Because this is were we hang out" said Carrie. She was wering a tight fitting bright red t-shirt that said Bitch across the front.

Aimee who was wering a bright pink t-shirt with the word Slut across the front of it said "MacGonogol the headmistress lets us hang out here cause were cooler than everybody else"

"Thats actually a joke. I mean we are cooler than everybody else but thats not why Maccy G lets us chill here. No its cause we save the school all the time from the masked avenger" said Lanie Anthea Smith who had on a bright orange t-shirt with the word Hottie across the front.

"Whos the masked avenger?" inquired Hermione.

"He's a masked wizard who is avenging the defeat of Lord Voldermort (an: everyone says his name now cause hes dead) by you dad" said Will.

"Nobody nos who he really is except us but nobody will beleve us" said Ritz "its Draco Malfoy"

"Draco Malfoy is the masked avenger???????????!!!!!!!!" cried the trio at the same time.

"Yes we've been trying to defeat him now since the end of our first year" explained Will.

"Hey!! Now there here why don't they help us???!!!" said Carrie.

"That is such a good idea!!" everyone agreed.

"Wait wait!!! Tell me how I defeated Voldermort first!!" said Harry.

"Alright. After you found and vanquished all his horcuxs you tracted him down to Romania at the Dragon reserve where Charlie Weasley worked and then he tried to kill you by getting the dragons to kill you but then you rode a dragon and he rode and dragon and you dueled while flying them and eventually your dragon killed him" said Will.

"Really??!!!! That is so cool!!"

"I no!! Everyone nos it cause it's a famous story" said Will.

Suddenly a cold voice said "Wants going on here?"

Everyone turned round and there was a pale blond haired boy of about 15.

"Gulielmus Malfoy" said Ritz "Want do you want?"

"None of your business you dirty weasel"

"Wait did you say Gulielmus MALFOY????!!!" cried Ron.

"Yes hes Draco Malfoys son" said Ritz "Hes a total turd brain"

"I am NOT a turd brain!!!!!" cried Gul "Take that back!!!!"

"No!!!"

Gul got out his wand and was about to kick some ass when Carrie kicked him in the private parts!!!!!!!!!

"OOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He cried in absolute pain!!!

"That will teach you a lesson" she laughed.

an: sooooooooooooooooooooetc want did u fink????!!!!!! im dead plzed wi it!!!!!!


	2. The Party!

an-k ma frend aimee woz gonna btta dis 4 me but den she red it & now shes not tlkin 2 me!!!!!!!!!!! sos i got ma bro phil 2 nstd but onli if he got 2gtha wiv mione!!!! thnx 2 Outsidersluver1992 coz she revoowd ma 1st chpta!

**Love Lies A Head!!**

Chapter2-The Party!!

The gang was all sat in the room of requirement on big comfy chairs. Will and Harry were talking about what life was like now in the future.

"Carrie is my girlfriend." said Will "We've been going out for two years now."

"That's nice." said Harry "What do I do now? Am I an aurora?"

"No, 'cause you never did your newts, so you couldn't be one." explained Will "You became a famous quidditch player instead."

"Wow! Really?!"

"Oooh! Ooooh!" Ron said butting in. "What do I do?!"

"Dad, you are the manger of the Chudley Canons (an: which is the team Harry played for)" said Ritz (an: which is short for Richard, btw) "You made them be a good team!"

"Wow! I am so cool!" said Ron.

"I still don't understand how I end up marrying Victor Krum." said Hermione.

"Well maybe you should go ask yourself?" suggested Will "Or you could go ask your daughter, Constance?"

"I have a daughter?!" cried Hermione. "How old is she?!"

"She's fourteen." said Ritz.

"She's a Ravenclaw, and in the year below us, so we don't chill with her." explained Carrie.

"OMG! I have to meet her!" cried Hermione.

"Ok" said Carrie "She'll probs be in the Great Hall, 'cause it's diner time, init?"

"Yeah, you are probs right, Caz." said Aimee.

So off the gang went to the Great Hall. At the Ravenclaw table was a bushy, brown-haired girl sat with her nose stuck in a book. She looked up just as the gang turned up.

"Hey guys!" she said to the people she already knew. "Who are these people?" she asked, talking about the trio.

"Don't you reconise your own mum?" Ritz asked.

Constance looked at Hermione.

"OMG! You're my mum! But you're SO young!" she squealed.

Hermione was in a state of shock.

"Y-you're my daughter?!" she inquired.

"Uh…..I guess so…..this is so weird..…how-how…..I don't understand!" Constance was also in a state of shock.

"We came forward in time, me, Ron and Harry." explained Hermione. Then she asked the question she most wanted to know. "Do you know how I end up marrying Victor Krum?"

"You mean Dad?" Constance inquired. "Well, I don't really know, but in your seventh year you started to go out proper, and then you just ended up married, I suppose."

Suddenly, a voice behind Hermione said, "I've been waiting for this day to arrive."

Everybody spun round. There was Hermione, but she wasn't a teen Hermione, oh no, she was a fully-grown adult Hermione.

"Me!!" teen Hermione cried.

"Yes, it is I, myself," said adult Hermione.

"OMG! This is SO freaky!" Hermione cried. "Even freakier than seeing my daughter! And finding out I married Krum! By the way what's with that?!"

"Yeah, I'd really like to know that too." said Ron.

"I'd love to tell you, but it's something you really need to find out for yourselves." said adult Hermione. She winked and went off.

"Whoa! Major brain-screw!" said Lanie (an: which is short for Melanie, 'cause she doesn't like you calling her that) Anthea Smith.

"Errr! Look who it is!" said Aimee. She was looking at a girl who was obviously a dirty ho, you could just tell.

"Err! It's Nykolaa McDonald-Jones!" said Lanie.

"She is such a big fat whore!" said Carrie.

"Yeah, I'm sure it's true about her and Snape!!" said Aimee.

"Of course it's true! She's a big fat whore!" said Lanie Anthea.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX In the Boy's Dorm! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Carrie looked lovilly in to Ritz's turquoise blue eyes.

"This is wrong." she said.

"I know, but I love you, so it can't be wrong!" he said. "It's write."

"What a boat Aimee? Don't you love her an all?"

"Yeah."

"Then it's wrong. That's the opposite of write."

"Can't I love more than one girl at a time?"

"No, 'cause that makes you a total player." she said full of wisdom. "Anyway, I totally love Will."

"But I totally love you to!" Ritz cried. "What makes it ok for him to totally love you, but not me?"

"'Cause he's you're best mate!" Carrie cried. "And Aimee's mine! So its doubly wrong!"

"We could run away together." said Ritz. "Then we wouldn't have to deal with them!"

"Yeah, that is a good idea, but wear would we go?"

"It doesn't matter, as long as I am with you!" he cried, before kissing her, passionately, on the month.

"That is soooooo romantic Ritz (an: lyk the crakka lol!!!)!" said Carrie. "But weight, 'cause I totally have an even better idea than running away together, to where ever!"

"What is it?" Ritz asked.

"We get Aimee and Will together. Then it will be THEM who betrayed US, so we won't have to feel guilty!" she cried.

"That's brilliant!" cried Ritz. "Then we can live happily ever after. Together."

"We can get them together at the party, in the Great Hall, tonight!!!" said Carrie.

"Good idea!" he said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX Getting Ready for the Party! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I have a dilemma, guys!" said Lanie.

"What is it?" asked Aimee.

"Well, I fancy a guy who isn't Peters. So do you think I should dump him?"

"I'm sure Peters would for give you for having the hots for another guy." said Hermione.

"What? Oh no, I want to dump Peters, so I can GO OUT with the other guy INSTEAD!" laughed Lanie.

"Silly me!" laughed Hermione.

"Well, anyway, is this other guy hot?" asked Aimee.

"He's a flaming studmuffin!" cried Lanie.

"Well, then go for it, hun!" cried Aimee.

"Who is this other guy?" asked Carrie.

"Oh, it's your brother, Matt. That's not a prob is it?"

"Why the hell would it be? I'm not his keeper!" laughed Carrie. "In fact, 'Mione, you should get together with one of my other brothers, Phil. Don't you think she should, girls?"

"Oh yeah!" said Lanie. "Phil's a cutie!"

"Yeah, and he's definitely between girlfriends at the moment, to!" said Aimee.

"What do you say, 'Mione?" asked Carrie. "Should we set the two of you up?"

Hermione shrugged. "Go on then!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX At the Party! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Oi! Phil!" yelled Carrie. "We've got someone for you to meat!"

"Yeah, this is 'Mione." said Lanie Anthea. "She's...er..."new"."

"Well, nice to meet you, 'Mione." said Phil, with a wink.

"Nice to meet you to." she said back. Her hair was now straight as a die, since the girls had showed her how to use a special straightening charm, and it looked loads better. They had also lent her some of their clothes to wear.

"Wanna go and get a drink?" he offered.

"Oooh! Yes please." she said. And they went off.

"We are so good at match-making, aren't we girls?" said Aimee.

"Oh, yeah, we're brill at it." said Carrie laughing, because Aimee didn't know a boat the plan to get her and Will together.

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"What's 'Mione doing with that guy over there?" asked Ron.

"Oh, that's Phil, he's my cousin." said Peters.

"That's nice, but what's she doing with him?" asked Ron.

"Looks like there together." said Will.

"Grrr!" said Ron. "First Krum, and now this! We'll see!" he began to walk to wards them, when he bumped into the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. "Sorry!" he cried.

"Oh no, don't worry about it." she said, her voice a sweet tune to his ear. Her eyes were a dazzling shade of tangerine, and her hair the delicious colour of wet autumn leafs.

"I muss know you're name!" he cried.

"My name is Delilah Ambrosia Lillian Shinklebottom III." she said.

"OMG! Delilah! Like my dead wife!" he cried.

"You have a dead wife?!" she asked.

"Well, yes and no."

"Okay." she said. "Do you want to dance?"

"Dance! With you?!" he cried.

"Of course. I like my men, like I like my coffee. Ginger." she said.

"Okay, then." he said flushing a bright red colour. So they danced to my favourite ever song, Bring me to life. It was dead romantic. They even snogged for a bit.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Have another butterbeer, Aimee!" said Carrie.

"Alright." she drowned it in one. "Can I have another?"

"Here you go!" said Carrie.

"Yummy! But I wish they had stronger stuff!" she laughed.

"I know!" said Carrie. "Good thing I brought this!" She held up a bottle of Vodka.

"Oooh! Goody! My favourite! Give us some!" she filled her glass up.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Peters I need to speak to you ergently!" said Lanie Anthea.

"'Kay, my little huney-bun, what is it?" he asked her.

"Your dumped!" she said.

"What!" he cried.

"I'm sorry, but there's someone else!" she said.

"Who?" Peters asked.

"You're cousin, Matt." Lanie said.

"Where is he? I'm gonna beat him up!" he said.

"But he's 6 foot 5." said Lanie. "And a proffessional Rugby player."

"Oh yeah. Um, well, we had a good time while it lasted. Er, see ya!" he said going off.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ritz was getting Will drunk to.

"Lets do shots!" he cried.

"Ok!" Will cried.

Soon Aimee and Will were both very drunk!

"I think I'm gonna vom!" cried Aimee.

"Quick in here!" cried Carrie pushing her into a broom cupboard, like it was the loos.

"I think I should go to bed now." said Will.

"I'll show you a new short cut I found." said Ritz, who showed him in to the same broom cupboard, and then ran off.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey," said Lanie, flirtishously.

"Hey," said Matt, who was a seventh year.

"Wanna pull?" she asked.

"'Kay." he said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Carrie and Ritz went to the broom cupboard and opened the door.

Will and Aimee were totally doing "it".

"Will! How could you?!" cried Carrie.

Will stopped what he was doing, and realised he'd been caught doing another girl by his girlfriend!!!!

"OMG! Carrie! Its not what it looks like!"

Carrie ran off, only pretending to cry. Will ran after her, pulling up his boxers.

"Carrie please for give me!" he said.

"No! You have broken my heart!" she cried.

"Please! Go on!" he begged.

"No! I'm going to bed!" she slammed the door shut in his face.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Matt stopped snogging Lanie for a sec.

"Don't you go out with Peters?" he asked.

"Not anymore." she said.

"Fair enough." he said, and they went back to snogging.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Ritz, I'm so sorry!" cried Aimee.

"I don't want to here it!" cried Ritz.

"Weight! Let me explain!" she cried.

"No! It's over between us!" Ritz walked off.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Next Morning! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Ritz, I know you probably want to thump me and everything, but-"

"I don't want to thump you." said Ritz.

"Really?" asked Will. "But I did you're girlfriend!"

"Oh yeah! But no, I don't wanna thump you, 'cause I'm a Buddhist init?"

"I see." said Will. "Anyway, I'm really sorry about what happened between me and Aimee - the guilt is cutting me up on the inside, man!"

Ritz said he forgave him, because it was part of his and Carrie's plan. Then they went to the Great Hall for breakfast. The rest of the gang was already all there. Carrie had already forgiven Aimee, and they were chatting about what they were going to wear to Hogsmeade this weekend. Ron, Hermione and Harry were talking about Phil and Delilah. Lanie and Peters weren't pulling as usual, though. In fact, when Carrie's brother, Matt, came in, she got up and snogged him!

"What's going on there?" Will asked his dad, Harry.

"Oh, Lanie dumped Peters, and now she's going out with Matt." he explained. "I heard about last night, how are things between you now?"

"Oh, we've made up, now." said Ritz.

"Have we made up to?" asked Aimee.

"As friends, yeah." he said.

"Well, obviously I meant THAT." she said, rolling her eyes.

"Are us two friends again to, Caz?" Will asked.

"Yeah, course." she said. "Err! Look at Nykolaa McDonald-Jones's skirt! It's practicularly transparent!"

"I know! She is such a slag!" said Aimee. "Did you see her snogging Gulielmus Malfoy all night, last night?"

"Err! Yeah, I know it was disgusting!" said Lanie Anthea.

an-so want dya fink????!!!! REVIEW!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!


	3. Lots of stuff happens

an-hiya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! got phil 2 btta agen coz aimee iz a STEWPID HOE who stil int tlkin 2 me!!!!!!!!! SCRUW HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fanx 2 Outsidersluver1992 nd Saint Ann 4 revuwin!!!

There was a trip to Hogsmedae today, so all of the gang went. It was a lovely sunny day, which was nice.

"You should come and meet my 'rents, Dad." said Will.

"WOW! That would be so cool. Yeah, I'll definitely come with you." said Harry. "Do me and your mum live in Hogmead then?"

"Oh yeah, we do. We've lived there since the summer before I came to Hogwarts."

"Yeah, that's when he met me and Peters." said Carrie. "'Cause we live in Hogmeede too!"

"I remember that day." said Peters. "You crashed your bike into their garden!"

Everyone laughed.

"Ron, would you like to come to Madame Puddifoot's with me?" asked Delilah.

"Um, yeah, sure!" he blushed as red as a red pepper (ie. red).

"And 'Mione, are you still coming to meet my mum?" asked Phil.

"Yeah!" she said.

"Ritz is coming too." said Carrie. "'Cause we're going out now."

"Really?!" cried Aimee. "Why didn't you tell me?! This is mayor gossip!"

"Oh, we were waiting for the right time, you know, 'cause you and me, and Caz and Will only just broke up." said Ritz.

"Makes sense, I suppose." said Will.

"Can I come round yours then?" Aimee asked Carrie.

"Course! Everyone who's not doing summat else can come round!"

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"Whoa! This is where I live?" asked Harry.

"Yup." said Will. He opened the front door and went in. "Mum! Dad! It's me!" he yelled.

"Oh, Sweetheart, you're home!" cried Cho. "Ooooh! I haven't half missed you!"

Harry was amazed at how good Cho still looked, even though she was older now.

"Where's Dad?" Will asked.

"Where do you think he is? Slumped out on the settee. Drunk!" she said.

"Drunk? But it's only 11 o'clock in the am!" said Harry.

Cho looked at Harry for the first time. "OMG! It's you Harry! But you only look about 17!" she cried, with shock.

"Yeah, it is me." he said. "I came into the future with Ron and Hermione."

"Err! Hermione, that skank!" she said. "There's a reason, I don't let you talk to HER anymore. She stole Viktor Krum off of me!" she said.

"She did?!" asked Harry. "I must remember to tell her that."

"Yeah, and then we got back together, but it was OK, because that Ginny Weasley, you were going out with, is also a skank, and was doing "it" with Neville anyway. Poor Luna! If you ask me it was all because Ron got together with Delilah, bless her sole, and Hermione felt all mad about it, so she wanted back with Viktor!"

"Really?! So that's how it all happens, then!" Harry said.

"Yeah, pretty much." Cho said.

"What did Luna do?" he asked.

"Joined a convent." replied Cho. "Said she couldn't handle all the bed-hopping."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"It's so lovely here, isn't it?" said Delilah.

"Very." said Ron. "But it's even more lovelier, 'cause you're here."

"Ooooh! You are sweet, Roneth!"

"Roneth?" he asked.

"Yeah, I thought it'd be a cute nickname for you." she explained.

"Fair enough." said Ron. "I love you, will you come back to the past with me?"

"Yeah, why not?" she said.

"Cool!" he said. "We're going back tomorrow, so you might want to pack."

"Ok, but I'm gonna need to know what the weather's gonna be like." she said. "Otherwise, how will I know what to bring?"

"Well, you won't need a bikini in January. Global Warming wasn't that bad back then." he explained.

"What about fur-lined?" she asked.

"You could probably get away with that." he said.

"Cool."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So that's what I look like in 20 years' time?" asked Harry.

"Yup." said Will. "You started drinking after you got shot from the Canon."

"Shot from the Canon?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, that's what they call it when they kick you off the Chudley Canons." said Will. "What else could I have been going on about?"

"Dunno." said Harry. "Can I wake myself up?"

"You can try." said Cho.

Harry nudged his future self's shoulder. Adult Harry woke up.

"What the hell?????!!!!!" he cried, seeing himself!

"I'm your past self. I've come to the future with Ron and Hermione, remember?!" asked Teen Harry.

"It's not that time already is it??!!" cried Adult Harry.

"It is." said Teen Harry.

"You haven't slept with Cho yet, have you?!" asked Adult Harry.

"No, we broke up, 'cause she kept crying about Diggory." said Teen Harry.

"No, you silly prat! I mean, you haven't slept with nowadays Cho yet, have you?" he explained. "You haven't, have you love?" he asked Cho.

"No! I have _not_!!" she cried. "He's a kid, what do you take me for?!"

"Well, I slept with you when I came to the future!" cried Adult Harry.

"Err!" cried Will. "That's nasty!"

"That's wrong!" cried Teen Harry. "I'm so not gonna sleep with nowadays Cho until I'm nowdays Harry!"

"Er, I wouldn't get your hopes up then." said Cho. "'Cause you're a drunk, I don't sleep with you!"

"You have to sleep with each other now!" cried Adult Harry. "If you don't, then when you go back, you won't get together with each other, Self!"

"What would really be so wrong with that? No offence." he added to Cho.

"Well, then you'd change all this!" Adult Harry cried, gesturing all around him. "And you can't do that, 'cause then you'd change time! And you're not supposed to change time, _ever, _and I know, 'cause I once saved an innocent man and a hippogriff by changing time, but that was only an exception! So sleep together now!!"

"NO!" cried both Teen Harry and Cho.

Ten minutes later...

"Ok, let's get this over and done with," said Cho.

"Whatever," Harry said.

They were gonna do "it" together. They had to or it would ruin the future, which was where they were at anyway. Bad stuff would have happened, like the end of the Universe, otherwise. I think they call them parasols. Or maybe it's a paragon? Para-something, anyway.

"This doesn't mean I'm perverted or nothing, by the way," Cho said.

"Whatever."

"I'm only doing this for the sake of the universe, not 'cause I fancy you or anything," she added.

"Whatever."

"And, anyway, it's not like you-"

"Can we have the sex now, please?" Harry asked.

"Whatever," she said, and then they had the sex.

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That evening, everyone was back at Hogwarts. Harry and Ron were talking.

"So what was it like meeting your future self?" Ron asked.

"I did "it" with Cho," Harry confessed.

"Like, OMG!!!" Ron squealed.

"I know, but I made myself," he explained.

"You _made_ yourself do "it" with Cho?" he asked.

"Yeah, obviously I mean my _future_ self made me," he said.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"He was like DO IT or you'll screw everything up," he said.

"Yeah," said Ron. "So what was it like?"

"I think I _LOVE_ her!" yelled Harry.

"Well, yeah. You know how doing "it" equates to true love," said Ron.

"Obviously!" he agreed. "So how was your date with Delilah?"

"I _love_ her too! She's coming back to the past with us tomorrow!"

"Cool."

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The next day Harry, Ron, Hermione and Delilah were saying goodbye to everyone.

"Mione! Please stay!" Phil cried.

"I'm sorry I can't, I have to go back to the past and help Harry defeat Voldie-pops. Lord knows, he can't do it on his own. Why don't you come back with us instead?" she inquired.

"OK, I'll get my coat," he said.

When Phil got back with his coat they were ready to leave, but then, suddenly, Aimee made a revelation!

"I'm pregnant!!!!!!!" she yelled.

"OMG!" everyone cried.

"Who's the dad?" Caz asked.

"I don't know!" she said. "But it's either Ritz, Will, Andy or Peters."

"Well, THAT narrows it down," said Caz.

"Hang on! What do you mean _Peters_? When did you do "it" with him?" screeched Lanie Anthea.

"When you'd gone to visit your sick Grandma, remember?" said Aimee.

"You ho!" Lanie bellowed.

"Oh, whatever!" said Aimee. "What am I gonna do?"

"Err..."

"Um..."

"I know!" said Phil. "I'll marry you and adopt the baby when it's born, then we can be a family!"

"Err..._excuse_ me!" yelled Hermione. "You were just about to come to the past to be with _ME_!"

"Oh yeah, right. Sorry about that, but she's preggers, you know."

"But it's definitely not your baby even," said Aimee. "I've had my period since then."

"Well, I don't care, because I love you, Aimee! Will you do me the honour of being my wife?"

"OMG! Yes! What colour curtains shall we have in the lounge?" she squealed.

"I don't care as long as they match the settee!" he said full of joy that she'd agreed. They snogged and everyone's attention turned back to Harry, Ron, Hermione and Delilah.

"Well, then we'd be better be off," said Harry. "See you when you're all born!"

"Yeah, ta ra!" said Hermione, who was still pissed about the whole Phil thing. She twiddled with the Time Turner and soon enough they were back in good, old 1997.

"Well, we're back," said Ron. "What do you want to do now?"

"I wanna go find Cho and declare my undying love for her!" yelled Harry.

"But you can't, not yet, because she's going out with Krum," Ron pointed out.

"Oh yeah," said Harry. Then he remembered what future Cho had said to him. "Hermione, there's something you have to do!"

"Me?! What's you hooking up with Cho got to do with me?!" she screamed with curiousity.

"Everything!" he cried. "You have to break Cho and Krum up. Future Cho told me herself."

"So _this_ is how I end up with Krum?" she inquired.

"Yup."

She sighed. "OK, I might as well, seen as it all fell through with Phil, and nothing's gonna happen between me and Ron now-"

"Yeah. Sorry about that," he apologised.

"Whatever. Yeah go on then, I'll do it," she said. "Just give me ten minutes," then she went off to find and seduce Krum, who happened to be visiting Cho at Hogwarts.

"Ten _whole_ minutes!!" yelled Harry. "I can't wait that long!" But he did, and ten minutes later he went off and found Cho crying in the library.

"Cho! Whatever's the matter?" he asked, even though he knew the answer.

"That whore, Hermione, stole Viktor off me!!!" she sobbed.

"Really??!!" he pretended to be surprised. "How did she do that then?"

"Me and him were talking, right, and she just comes up, like the skank she is, and throws herself all over him and then they went off to one of the boom cupboards," she explained sadly.

"Well, forget about him, he's a loser anyway."

"Yeah, I suppose."

"Hey, do you wanna go out with me instead?"

"Yeah, sure. Why not?"

"Cool. Wanna pull?"

"Do I!!!"

So then they snogged and it were dead romentik! Until...

"Harry!!!"

Harry unattached himself and looked up. "Ginny! What are you doing here?"

"Well, I _WAS_ looking up different species of toadstools, but-"

"Hey, Ginny! You forgot your bra!" Neville said, coming into view from behind a bookcase, holding a lacy, pink bra.

"Your _bra_?" Harry raised his left eyebrow.

"I don't know what _you're_ looking at _me_ like that for! Look what _you're_ up to behind my back!" she yelled.

"Fair enough. Maybe we should just call it a day?" he suggested amicably.

"Yeah, you're right, it's probably for the best anyway. I mean we weren't working out," she agreed.

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Later that night at dinner, Luna was very confused to see Ginny and Neville pulling at the Gryffindor table.

"Neville, I think you're confused. I'm the one with the blonde hair, remember? Ginny's got red hair."

"Oh yeah, Luna, I forgot to tell you. We're broken up. I go out with Ginny now."

"But I thought Ginny went out with Harry?" she asked dreamily.

"He did, but now he goes out with Cho," Neville explained.

"Doesn't Cho go out with Viktor Krum?"

"Not anymore, he goes out with Hermione."

"But I thought she and Ron were circling around each other like vultures round a dead carcass?" she asked, puzzled.

"Yeah, but now he goes out with the new girl, Delilah Ambrosia Lillian Shinklebottom III."

"Oh." she said sadly, the truth dawning on her. "I don't suppose you have any idea where the nearest Convent around here is?"

"No," he admitted. "Sorry."

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It was twenty years later, and Professor Hermione Krum had just bumped into her younger self in the Great Hall at Hogwarts.

She was standing on the doorstep of a large house, in a small town in Cornwall.

The door opened and there stood Ron Weasley. "Hiya."

"Hi. You'll never guess who I bumped into today?"

"_NO_?!"

"Yes."

"WOW! I bet that was freaky!"

"It was, and it got me thinking. Delilah's been dead for a while now, no one would really mind if you moved on..."

"You mean-?"

"Yeah?"

"What about Krum?" he asked.

"Oh please! I only got with him to help Harry get with Cho. I'm a good friend like that," she explained.

"Then why are you only thinking of leaving him now?"

"Oh, believe me, I've _tried_!" she shrilled. "But then I found out Serverus was having "it" off with Nykolaa McDonald-Jones, one of the students!"

"Err! Snape!" he said, disgusted.

"What?! Don't knock it 'til you've tried it," Hermione shrugged. "So, anyway, do you wanna get together, or not?"

"Yeah, sure." he held the door open. "so do you want to come in for 'coffee'?"

"I was wondering when you were gonna ask!"

So then they had 'coffee', and lived happily-ever-after.

THE END!!!!!

an-so wot dya fink????/ plz tel me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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